Spirit in Matter
Spirit of Matter
“Beginning Anew is a way you can learn to see deeply into and accept your beloved as they are, without forcing them to change according to your liking”. Sister Chan Khong
I was with my small group of women who are in a bible study. This group has an expanded belonging, for in this group, curiosity is supported. Questions and questioning what is written and how the words are interpreted are allowed to be shared amongst us. The influence of the word mercy was amazingly diverse. All of us connecting in a broadened belonging of Christianity. That is why I love Dan Siegel’s definition of g-o-d….generator of diversity. This group delved into the word “mercy” in one of our bible study sessions.
I was resistant to the word mercy. That word left me with the feeling that I do not belong in the world. I am in need of mercy for I am not good enough. For others, the word was a word that filled their state of being with gratitude. I now thank God for mercy, for what they shared allowed me to change! It was a perfect experience to represent how the words, memories and beliefs influence and shape us! From that group discussion, I learned I had work to do.
My view of reality was shaped by one word. Here is a word that represents any act of kindness or charity being considered as an act of mercy, especially when it’s given to those in need, without expecting anything in return. Perhaps my ego has been too big, a part of me that does see the need for kindness towards me when I think I am better than I am, or my state of being is too angry or filled with reasons that do not relate to another’s situation. There are times when I am ‘not good” enough. I have been ignorant of times when I am in need. May God have mercy on my soul during the times I’m impatient with the telemarketer who is just doing their job, or the shopper who rudely cuts in to take what they need, or my tone of impatience when I’m interrupted, ignorant of the times I interrupt others! Just because I was not “good enough” 100% of the time does not mean I am “less than”. Mercy has a lesson for me, about seeing the wholeness of life. I do belong, we all make mistakes in which we are in need of mercy, and I can join my friends in being grateful for mercy. Not because I have to “be like them” to be liked by them. Because I can stand within my own definition of mercy without feeling “unworthy”.
I found myself viewing mercy through two definitions. A divine mercy and a human mercy. Divine mercy is often seen as a counterbalance to judgment. It encompasses the forgiveness, compassion, and leniency that a deity may offer to individuals, even when they fall short of divine expectations. This mercy reflects the deity’s benevolence and love for humanity, offering people a chance for redemption and forgiveness. The God I’ve come to know is benevolent. What is human mercy?
I learned from Richard Rohr, a Franciscan friar and ecumenical teacher known for his work in spiritual development, particularly within the Christian tradition this idea of vertical and lateral accountability. In his book Universal Christ, Richard Rohr shares that we have had so much focus on a vertical accountability. I realized I was allowing mercy, as a word, shaped by my Christian upbringing to have a judgmental, vertical focus on my shortcomings, my imperfections. And that I allowed this word to negatively impact me, assuming others have mercy on me because my faults make me less than they are.
Yet, humans demonstrate benevolence and love every day as well. Between friends and family, we forgive and redeem others from the harms their shadows cast. We share with friends and family phrases such as “Have mercy on me” or “I am at your mercy” or we may tell others in their state of hurt and anger, “Have you no mercy?”. Mercy plays an invisible role in forgiving and healing between us every day. I just couldn’t recognize it because I allowed it to have more negative power over me than a balanced power.
I have been redeemed. I am grateful for my bible study friends that allowed my shadow to be expressed and after reflective practice to be filled with spirit. For their spirit of gratitude for the word mercy changed the impact the word now displays within my being. I am reminded of living in a state of heart. For is that not the state of being the resurrection story reminds us of? We are all mortal, we are all sinners, and yet there exists a universal love for us all which can also be displayed between us all. “Have mercy on my soul” has a new meaning for me. I am loved, imperfectly perfect, and worthy of forgiveness and redemption. My heart is redeemable.
I love this new “edge” of mercy for me. It is no longer edged with fear. The word mercy is now edged with the loving benevolence that the God and Jesus I know display to me. The word mercy has a vertical connection to a higher source or power and a lateral connection to humanity. Humans display mercy to imperfections of other humans every day. This word that had invisible impact and powerful influence. I’m so grateful to those who accept me just as I am, who do not force me to be like them. For this learning was not forced, nor made to be the focal point of my weakness in front of the group. The impact of the word was allowed its quiet voice, its space to be understood more deeply. I love the diversity that acceptance can allow! It helps me grow.
My name is Kathy Mortensen. I started a company called When Belonging Shines. I am a Certified Master Practitioner of Mental and Emotional Release®, a Minister and a Master Reiki Practitioner and provide sound bowl therapy in meditation and with Restorative Yoga practices. I have found a belonging in what Dan Seigel defines as a generator of diversity (God) and a Jesus I know, which differs from the Jesus I was taught about. I have found a belonging between the many religions and science, one filled with wonder and curiosity. I write to share about how I found my way between these opposing worlds, for I meet so many who believe as I do, that God is a loving God.
My website: https://whenbelongingshines.godaddysites.com
My facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/KathyMortensenWBS/
Youtube: @kathymortensen7377. (When Belonging Shines)
