Spirit in Matter: Belonging: The Way
Belonging to More
Belonging can be elusive. Funny how fear can get in the way. I live in a world in which I face the feelings that who I am and what I support is no longer safe and secure. I hear the threats to my retirement funds, to my health insurance, that I am beholding to the devil, as I promote complementary health and wellness services. It does not feel safe when I hear words that human beings are considered animals if they do not look like you, act like you or believe like you. It does not feel safe when what I believe in is being challenged in the media daily. For I remember being a young woman, without rights to credit without a man’s signature or promotions or equal pay, without a religious voice (Women could not be ministers in my church). The world is different now.
My vulnerabilities belong, for I am called to wander in wonder, out in the wilderness.
It is a sacred practice to be with others as who you really are, authentically embracing your body and soul, while being part of something bigger than who you are. My time in the trees, the cosmos, or paddling the water, provides the means to strengthen my resilience, as I pause and allow what is unconscious to become conscious. My recent reflections focused on what about me is authentic and what about me is what I chose to protect or hide. There is a healthy fear to keep us protected. There is a fear that is so deep that it separates us, one in which the guardedness expands the separation so far, one loses connection. I have been guarded too long, too deeply.
Belonging has a sway, at times being in connection with others and at times being alone in the wild. I am finding connections, to those who view God as a being of belonging, a being of love, a being that does not hate. It feels so good to connect to those like me. I am fearful of saying I’m a Christian, for there is a growing movement of Christianity that has become the way of power over rather than a power with. I was birthed in the outcomes of fighting against this kind of power — power over others. I was raised in times of liberation from power over.
As I delve into my guardedness, the universe sends me the messages that remind me of who I am and to what I belong. I belong to a world in which God is a generator of diversity. I learned this term thanks to Dan Siegel and James Talarico. Dan Siegel, author of Intraconnected. Mwe (Me +We) shared this idea that generator of diversity represents the letters g-o-d. James Talarico, in a you tube sermon, shared that God loves diversity. I agree with them both. James shared Rumi’s quote that “Every Religion has Love, but Love has No Religion. You know the tag line: Love is All There Is!
Belonging is all around us, we are surrounded by the potential of its existence, and yet it is elusive. It feels elusive to me at times. I believe we are responsible for creating a sense of belonging. Belonging, the way, this yearning in life to be connected, to be loving, to be a part of more than oneself. I am reminded by James Talarico, that power serves humanity when it is shared among all humans. That is the way I learned from the Jesus I have come to know. The way of creating a belonging.
Jesus modeled outreach for the poor, the uninsured, the fearful, the guarded, the lepers who were outcast. Yes, we must protect humanity from those that are intending harm and that cause harm. Yet, when that protection embraces a table of fellowship, we heal through forgiveness rather than judgement.
I will forever be working on my judgement, to be present. Just recently I judged my husband too harshly, angered by feeling overpowered in conversation and thought. I allowed greed to replace the thinking of sharing of time, I allowed the violence of my silence to replace the peace of understanding, yet, with reflection, I can transform my ego. James Talarico so eloquently reminds us in his sermon, Christianity is about transforming our ego, not affirming our ego. For me, creating belonging, allows the time to transform ego. Here is the way to overcoming our sin.
Who contributed to my transformation? Margi, who reminded me that being guarded is an illusion of fear. Irma, who shares her authentic self no matter. Debbie, an acquaintance who struggled in a moment. She remembered my assistance and two years later she continues to thank me! She shares that moment with others who struggle. Debbie, someone not like me, with different political views, with a different lifestyle, yet we remain connected.
And most of all Toni, my ego transformation has a great thanks to you Toni. Toni allowed her vulnerability to work through her history of emotions through the processes with me and who now “feels” God. I cried. This friend, who has been so jealous of others as they could feel God and notice God’s gifts. This friend, who so desired this gift of God and studied through all the reasons, could not find that peace, could not find that shared power with God. This friend — who sees the divine in others. This friend — who recognizes all as her neighbors, found a lasting peace. This friend — who shares power and gifts us all with her grace and knowledge! She found a belonging she had been searching for. This friend reminded me of the glory of God, it exists in every moment. Even when I feel powerless in conversations. Oh Toni, the gifts you share in unknowing ways. Not everything is “reasoned”
Belonging. The Way. Creating a safe belonging between differences. Safe conversations begin with me.
Conversations are filled with power. My guardedness affects my conversations. I allow myself to feel overwhelmed by others who converse “over”. Conversation can exclude or embrace others. Creating belonging in conversation is subtle. It has a power of its own. I learned more deeply about the power of conversations this week. I am gaining skills this week. I want to ensure I share a belonging conversation. If you are different than me, I can do as Jesus asked, love thy neighbor, for I love God and God loves me. The God in me, sees the God in you. I’m creating more awareness of when I desire to have power over the conversation. Maintaining a belonging conversation is subtle, it is elusive. Is the focus of our conversation your topic, my topic, a joint topic? Power, sharing power, begins in conversation. Power over ends loving conversations. Power over is also perception. If the topic changes and I don’t finish my story, is it that you have power over me or is that just my perception?
My kayaks and meditations remind me that water smooths rocks into sand, wind carves stone, and I can learn to trust the ways of God, the way of sharing, peace, and forgiveness to transform egotistical beliefs, power, and judgement. Liberating my guardedness in conversations. I am not “less” when I am spoken over, I am not “more” when I speak over others. My awareness is expanding in creating belonging conversations. The wind and water can smooth me too.
My biggest struggles in conversations are with concepts that lead to Christian Nationalism, or fascism, or thinking that is related to power over. These conversations are ideas which contribute to thinking that there is one right way to govern, or to find God. Learning to respond to those who tell me “criminals are thugs” is my challenge. I view them as human beings. Learning to create a table of fellowship with those who tell me my transgender relatives are evil is my challenge. Learning to address cultish leadership and beliefs created from cultish thinking is my next growth.
I trust that I will learn, a lifetime of living through liberating times can lead me to allow a universal mutual love to shine through. Even to those who are now threatening to kill people who believe like me, for as humanity, we have been here before. And if you are not seeing the death threats to people who believe differently, then you are not paying attention. For I feel them, I see them, I hear them.
All my gratitude to Toni and those who contributed to my growth this week. For, love is all there is. Love will always win. You all showed me I belong. Thank you.
My name is Kathy Mortensen. I started a company called When Belonging Shines. I am a Certified Master Practitioner of Mental and Emotional Release®, a Minister and a Master Reiki Practitioner and provide sound bowl therapy in meditation and with Restorative Yoga practices. I have found a belonging in what Dan Seigel defines as a generator of diversity (God) and a Jesus I know, which differs from the Jesus I was taught about. I have found a belonging between the many religions and science, one filled with wonder and curiosity. I write to share about how I found my way between these opposing worlds, for I meet so many who believe as I do, that God is a loving God.
My website: https://whenbelongingshines.godaddysites.com
My facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/KathyMortensenWBS/
Youtube: @kathymortensen7377. (When Belonging Shines)
