To conspire in its definition has differing meanings — to work together for unlawful/wrong purpose or to work together in harmony. Conspire, the word, has Latin roots that include the concepts “together” and “with breath”.
My fear overwhelms me at times. From a fearful place I am caught up in everyday events, like the war in Ukraine. I attend lunch or dinner with friends and feel fearful to turn down dessert that I do not like, or to stop conversation I am not comfortable with. My fear causes me to forcefully state my boundary about politics and others get their feelings hurt. My intent is to breathe through the fear, to maintain connection of togetherness when differences arise. In one case I was not true to me, in another case I was true to me but caused a deeper disconnection with another.
In our lives, we walk together in varying paths. From our beginnings we were created to be different from each other. We are one, despite our differences. The universe conspires with us, as it conspired with my fear. My breathe, shared from within and breathed out, has influence, whether I fear being myself or not being myself. I spent a few days delving into my fear. My fear arose from a lack of self-love in moments of time. A moment of people pleasing and a moment of honoring self. In the first I harm myself, in the second I harm another. Yet, my heart conspires with me to do “no harm”.
We equate love with “no harm”. Yet none of us view “harm” in the same way. Simple disagreements cause harm, disappointing another human can cause harm, direct conversation can cause harm, a question can cause harm. How a person uses words can cause harm. I recall conversations where simple wording was debated between individuals who felt hurt by words and the same words were accepted by others. Why? We are all different, with differing values, differing perspectives, differing histories and viewpoints. Yet, we are all human, all connected in our humanness.
There is a place for every set of values. Right and wrong belong. Yet what is right for one is not right for everyone. What is wrong for one is not wrong for everyone. Authority belongs, for we share given values about driving, paying for meals, managing crimes. My husband is obsessively neat and orderly, I am more shuffled in my organization, though not a total mess! I am not wrong in my way of being, he is not wrong in his way of being. We have found mutual respect for each other’s way of being. I am reminded of what love is. Love is not fearful.
As I dug deeper into my fears, I discovered more love. Romans 12:2, reminded me of how life works. In this verse we are reminded that we are asked not to conform to this world. This does not mean to be rebellious about every issue. Authority has a “place”. Yet, authority is allowed to be challenged. Romans 12: 2 asks us to transform and renew our mind. I have spent this week transforming and renewing my mind. I loved another enough to eat the dessert I did not like in honor of her effort. I loved myself enough to not be embroiled in a political conversation that in a moment in time does not benefit my wellbeing. I had to diet a little harder for a few days, I had to rid myself of feeling not good enough for a few days. Good for me in more ways than one, for I gained a deeper understanding of the mystics. Love is not pain free, love is all there is, and I am afforded as many opportunities as I need to transform and renew my thinking about love of others and self.
May we collectively transform and renew our mind as we pray for peace in Ukraine. I admire those taking on a Goliath for their freedom. I fear those few that gather in Christian principles that support this war, referring to those that prefer Putin’s authority and tradition. I sense the other side of conspire/ the wrong purpose of waging a war when my fear arises when I read of the Ukraine endeavors. My recent reflective experience reminds me of the depth of love, of striving for harmony. The task of transformation to renew our collective minds realizes there are those who are happy to die for their way of life, humble enough to recognize we all have faults and yet are loved by God, and we are all good enough, even though we falter from our ideals. The Jesus I know did not advance his ideals through political or coercive means, yet our salvation, our coming to wholeness is not without negativity.
All my gratitude for a universe that conspires with us, together “with breath”.
The theme of my writings embed mystical Christ: Love, Acceptance, Forgiveness. The Power of Words to heal.
Gifts from the opposites (there is no light without darkness) = Love. Jesus taught us love.
Gifts from paradox (2 differing truths embrace truth) = Acceptance. Jesus taught us acceptance.
Gifts from pausing (process the emotions and thoughts, reconnect to higher divine beingness, go and sin no more, let go) = Forgiveness. Jesus taught us forgiveness.
If you are struggling with unworthiness, the need to forgive and replace hatred with love reach out to trusted sources. Become free of what weighs on you. Kathy Mortensen: Minister; Intuitive Guide; Master Reiki Practitioner; Certified Master Practitioner of Mental and Emotional Release®. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org