Belonging: The Eternal in the Temporary. Conscious is needed for change.
We are humans, living in a world that is constantly changing. As a human, conscious is needed for change. This statement suggests that awareness and intentional thought processes are essential for bringing about any meaningful transformation or progress. It implies that change doesn’t happen automatically or passively; rather, it requires deliberate effort and active engagement with one’s thoughts, beliefs, and actions. In practical terms, this statement highlights the importance of mindfulness, self-reflection, and decision-making in the process of personal growth, societal advancement, or any kind of improvement. Without conscious awareness and deliberate intention, it’s difficult to initiate, sustain, or guide meaningful change in oneself or in the world around us.
We cannot change what we are not “aware” of. We utilize awareness to delve into who we are. Without awareness of the need for change, we might continue to operate on autopilot, repeating the same patterns and behaviors without ever questioning them. It’s like trying to navigate a dark room without a flashlight — awareness illuminates the path forward and allows us to see where we need to go. We are beings that are both constant and changing.
I have become guarded, a little more wary of fully expressing my being. I am aware something within needs to change. You get that sense when others around you know something you don’t. They are aware, you are unaware. Awareness is the ability to be conscious and attentive to one’s thoughts, emotions, sensations, and surroundings in the present moment and for some awareness is defined as being present without judgment. We are meant to experience each moment. We are asked to share in many moments, and in the sharing comes the act of expressing. We can express ourselves subjectively or objectively. We are aware that objectively defining the moment and subjectively judging the moment have different outcomes.
My lessons have been in growing skills in sharing experience more objectively, without the hardness of the past that I tend to carry. Change can also take time. These lessons bring up the awareness of times when I felt not being seen or heard, as well as times when one is pushed to impulsively share without pause. When the emotions rise it takes me a few moments to allow them to pass. When I am asked to process, I am slow to respond. Life is so fast paced, and I am slow to learn and share at times. It is deep work for me to be present in the moment and share or describe what I am experiencing and about, especially without judgement.
Describing an experience or event without judgement or evaluation is narrating what It’s about painting a picture with words, capturing the sights, sounds, emotions, and details of the occurrence. When describing, the focus is on conveying the facts as they occurred, devoid of personal opinions or biases. For example, in describing a concert, one might talk about the music played, the crowd’s energy, the venue’s atmosphere, and the interactions between performers and audience members.
On the other hand, judging an experience or event involves forming an opinion or assessment based on personal values, beliefs, or standards. It entails evaluating the occurrence against some criteria to determine its worth, success, or moral standing. When judging, individuals might express approval, disapproval, or neutrality towards the experience or event. Using the concert example, someone might judge the concert positively if they enjoyed the music and atmosphere, or negatively if they found it too loud or disorganized.
The key distinction between describing and judging lies in the intention and content of communication. Description aims to provide an objective account of what transpired, while judgment involves subjective evaluation based on personal perspectives and values. Both processes serve different purposes: description informs others about an experience or event, while judgment reflects an individual’s interpretation and assessment of it. Our well-being is dependent on both, integrating both!
Through awareness we can pay attention to our internal experiences, our external environment, especially when that attention is from a state of being that is open and curious. It is through awareness that individually we better understand who “I” am, that I learn to regulate my emotions, and navigate relationships with others and gain skills at being more effective.
A few weeks back, I felt so invisible when an intended compliment was experienced by me as feeling ignored. My learning deepened the idea of never take anything personal, especially turning intentional good into bad. My reality, and who I was in that moment, “belonged” just as I was. It created an awareness learning moment, about my expectations. I wasn’t wrong for judging the complement, I was in need of awareness, awareness of why I felt the way I did. It took time. In sharing my feelings with a friend, my friend was right to share with me that I should not feel that way. Yet, I needed to reflect on why I did feel that way without labeling my feeling as “wrong”.
I am enjoying this learning, for experiencing life without judgment brings clarity. It clarifies both my growth and my next step needs in growing into “seniorhood” and my conscious wellness. I am learning the subtleties of judgement, from within and those experienced, supporting me to become less judgmental! I am free to be imperfect and experience growth in more innocence within.
My guardedness sends a message that I’m unsure of my belonging. We all strive to belong, as Brené Brown author and professor shares, our belonging is as great as our self-acceptance. We truly belong when we are who we are, imperfectly authentic. My imperfections belonged, so I could grow authentically from other’s authenticity! Everyone had different perceptions of the experience! Both objectivity and subjectivity (description and judgement) shaped the experienced moment. I needed the subjective to embrace the objective. I can now express the objective descriptions and share.
Belonging can influence our consciousness by shaping our perception of ourselves and our place in the world. When we feel a sense of belonging, we’re more likely to feel secure and confident in our identity, leading to a deeper awareness of ourselves and others. Conversely, our level of consciousness can also affect our sense of belonging, in perceiving ourselves to be less secure and confident. I am obviously wavering in between these awareness’s (secure and insecure) in my guardedness. My awareness is guiding me to express more of who I am, to identify what I am about. The lesson from my guardedness is developing skills and abilities to relate more objectively to others who are like me and not like me. Maya Angelou, famous author, shared this idea of being free to belong “no place” and “everyplace”. Her idea is there is great reward and a high price in achieving this type of belonging.
I’m sensing both the reward and the price for my growth in awareness, this bringing to conscious a change, is both a grand journey and a hurtful one. Heeding the hurt inside, to allow its voice to heal the past so one can be present is a gift I treasure. I see and experience more presence. Growth, a challenging gift! Freeing myself from being hurt by expectations that were unrealistic to begin with! I wish this feeling for everyone. To feel so free from the need to belong one can totally be their authentic self, and edge into consciousness, the awareness that I belong in every place.
May your experiences of belonging edge into the shining realities of life, more secure, more confident in who you are and a deeper knowing of who you really are. May you consciously imbue each moment with all possibilities rather than those limited by past perceptions or future expectations. It is a freeing experience, that broadens belonging, extends compassion and supports our conscious wellness.
My name is Kathy Mortensen. I started a company called When Belonging Shines. I am a Certified Master Practitioner of Mental and Emotional Release®, a Minister and a Master Reiki Practitioner and provide sound bowl therapy in meditation and with Restorative Yoga practices. I have found a belonging in what Dan Seigel defines as a generator of diversity (God) and a Jesus I know, which differs from the Jesus I was taught about. I have found a belonging between the many religions and science, one filled with wonder and curiosity. I write to share about how I found my way between these opposing worlds, for I meet so many who believe as I do, that God is a loving God.
My website: https://whenbelongingshines.godaddysites.com
My facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559376470224
Youtube: @kathymortensen7377. (When Belong Shines)
